The Curse of the Idiot Box

"Gather round the box boys and babes it's time for your all time favorite radio program. Little Orphan Annie. Brought to you by rich, chocolaty Ovaltine. More Ovaltine Please." Oh the days when the family would gather around the radio each evening for quality radio programs.
This possibly should have been included in a blog I wrote previously called "Card Games, TV, or Video Games, but since it just recently happened I will report it anyway. Obviously I don't remember the days of family radio. My family has had a color TV for as long as I can remember. Yet I still remember gathering in font of that Television to watch many different quality programs. For some reason our society thinks that the radio is just more wholesome than the television. Why is that? The reason that I ask, is because of an instance that happened at work this last week. I work with mentally and physically handicapped adults. Because of privacy laws I can't mention the resident's names. But because no one cares about the staff's rights I can tell you the staff's names. We have hired a new lady to work with us. Her name is Anastasia. She has previously worked with handicapped children and you can tell because it carries over into the job she has now. She has yet to get it through her head that they are adults and most of them can make educated decisions. And the ones that can communicate will let you know the decisions they've made. So last Tuesday while watching American Idol, one of the resident's favorite shows , Anastasia came and turned off the Television and said "music time" and then turned on the radio so we could now listen to music. Before I could even say anything, the resident who's favorite show it was said "what the hell are you doing?" "It's music time" said Anastasia. "No it isn't" said the resident. I decided to step in before the use of a power wheelchair as a weapon became prevalent. I turned off the radio, turned the TV back on and then asked Anastasia to come in the office with me. "What are you doing?" I asked. "It's music time." She replied. I told her "that the residents were not children and you don't have to govern what they do at certain times." Her response is what inspired this blog. She said "too much TV will rot their brain out." So to much TV will rot their brain out, but in her eyes it was alright to listen to the radio all day. Now if there were programs on the radio like there were back in the day, when the family radio ruled the roost, I would agree. To listen to those would be better than modern television. What is on the radio today? Well, depending what station you listen to, you may here anything from something slightly wholesome to shootin' up gangstas and slappin' biatches with my homies. What I think the problem is that many people can't adapt to new technology or new situations. It seems to me that 9 times out of 10 the people that can adapt are more intelligent and are more successful. For instance Anastasia is in jeopardy of losing her job because she will not let go of her old ideas of working with children and let the residents do things for themselves. She has tried to force many of the residents to do things "her way" after being repeatedly asked by the boss not to. Her way is the way of "I am the parent and you are the child." Is this intelligent? Is she going to be successful? I think the answer is no for both questions. There have been may technological advancements in my life and I consider myself intelligent enough to have kept up with them. I just hope one day I'm not saying " turn off the 3D image replicator, it's time for some television. " Because the day that happens I will have fallen victim to The Curse of the Idiot Box.

Batteries Not included

Batteries Not included. It is a common phrase heard when buying electronic devices. But what else isn't included? I went to Wal-Mart and bought a printer for my computer. Listed on the side were the contents of the box. It said Printer, one tri color ink cartridge, HP software , instruction manual, and power cord. I take it home and I open the box. I see a printer..... Nothing else. So by now it is three in the morning. I decide that I am going to go exchange it despite the time. I get to Wal-Mart and I am met by the greeter. He politely gave me my little pink sticker and I proceeded to the return counter. I get there and lucky me, at 3 in the morning, there was no line. I hand my product to the man working the return counter. He asked why I was returning it? I said on the box there was a list of contents and nothing was inside except the printer. He said ok. He looked in the box and then looked at me and said we can't take a product back unless all the parts that were in the box at the time of purchase are here. I said don't you understand? That is the reason that I am bringing it back. All the items that were promised to me on the box were not there at the time of purchase. He still didn't understand. After talking with him for about 3 minutes he finally got it through his head that I didn't get everything and that was the reason I was exchanging it. I went and got a new printer and then went on my way. I came home and hooked it up and now it works great. As I was throwing the box out I looked down and saw a disclaimer on the box. It said "Everything that makes the product cool, worthwhile or otherwise functional not included but the batteries are our gift to you." I guess the batteries were included.

The Family Car.

We have all had a time when the police have offered some sort of assistance to us. Maybe we were in an accident and the police helped with sorting out what happened and helped with the exchanging of insurance information. Or maybe our house was broken into and the police helped hunt down the perpetrator. Most of us appreciate having them around. They put their lives on the line to serve and protect us. But there is a flaw in the system. There is a street near my friends house where 2 cops live. How do I know they live there? Because every time I drive by there is a cop car parked in front of their house. Ok, ok. Lets give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe I drive by only when they are off duty. Well let me quote Wesley from The Princess Bride. "Possible Pig" That could be it, if I drove by at the same time everyday, but I don't. I have driven by at 6 in the morning. I have driven by in the mid afternoon. I have driven by at midnight. I have driven by at 1, 2, 3, and even 4 in the morning. Every time and at any time I drive by the cop cars are there. When do these people work? Do they work? Well if they don't there are 2 perfectly good cop cars, that our tax dollars paid
for, that could be being used by someone who is working. The only thing that may be worse than that is misusing the cars. The other day I saw a cop holding a woman's hand while walking out of Wal-Mart. A young boy around 8 and a young girl around 12 were walking behind them. The cop opened the passenger door of his squad car for the woman and then got in himself. The young boy and girl both got in the backseat themselves. Personal use of cop cars? Either that or it was a "mother and children" heist at Wal-Mart and the manager called the cops. But they decided to come peacefully. So the cop held the woman's hand while leading her to the car and the children walked quietly behind. Doubtful. Why is this allowed? A citizen style basic model of the car pictured starts at $21,575. But police don't have the basic model. They have the supercharged engine. They have the cage put in to hold criminals. They have the on board computer. They have the radar gun. Not to mention they have to have a custom paint job and a special light and siren package and the computer to run that. With all that it most likely costs closer to 35 or 40,000. Pretty expensive family car. Because a police car always has to be in good working order and not run down, I would assume that the average life of a police car is about 5 years. Well if police officers get to use these cars for personal use, how many years does that take of the 5 year life span of the car? Over the years that extra usage of cars adds up. If every cop on the force is doing it, it adds up even quicker. If they weren't allowed to do it we could save a lot of tax money. And if you aren't in a money saving mood. I am willing to bet that if all cops on one force didn't have personal use of police cars for one year, you could afford to add one cop to the force for that year. Then you would have less crime and more protection for the same price. But I can see why they would want to use it for themselves. There is a cage in the back. Who couldn't use that at one time or another on vacation. It's the perfect family car.

Over the top? Maybe. But Definately Not Underneath

The Classic Question. Over the top of the roll or underneath the roll. You've done your business. You reach over and naturally put your hand on top of the roll. But the edge of the toilet paper isn't there. Baffled, you wonder what could have caused this phenomenon. You turn, you look, and you see that someone has put the toilet paper in the dispenser with the edge towards the wall. Ludicrous. How could someone not see that this is the perfectly wrong way of doing things? Many a dating and married couples have fought over this problem. Second only to seat up or down. Is there a solution? Many of the town elders have given prophecy of a toilet paper dispenser that has a swivel on it. If you like over the top great. If not, twist the dispenser and it will magically be coming from the bottom. Oh the great things of which they speak. A time when over-the-toppers and underneathers can live in harmony and not dissonance. But until that day we must ask ourselves, is over the top over the top? Maybe. But definitely not from underneath.

Card Games, TV or Video Games?

Are you ready for a history lesson? Nearly everyone has a card game that they love to play. If not love, at least enjoy playing with friends from time to time. According to Wikipedia it is almost certain that playing cards originated in China after the invention of paper. The first formal printing of cards was in the mid 10th or early 11th century. They were used as money cards. These money cards evolved over the next few hundred years taking on many different uses. Actual playing cards have been traced back to the 13th century in England. With such a long history, no doubt most of us learned a card game growing up. Also, with such a history, most of us would consider a card game an acceptable way to pass time. On the other hand television and video games have a much shorter history. Electromechanical techniques, which make television possible, were developed from the 1900's into the 1920's, with the first broadcast being made in 1926. The many inventions of Philo T. Farnsworth and others made way for a Television system suitable for mass distribution of television programming. Farnsworth gave the world's first public demonstration of an all-electronic television system at the Franklin Institute in Philadelphia on the 25th of August 1934. Regular network broadcasting began in the United States in 1946, and television became common in American homes by the middle of the 1950s. The history of video games traces to 1948 where the idea of a video game was conceived and patented by Thomas T. Goldsmith Jr. and Estle Ray Mann. In 1958, the first video game was introduced to the public, William Higinbotham's Tennis for Two. Since cards have been around for hundreds of years it's easy to see why card games are widely accepted. Of television and video games, the final product both being released in the early to mid 1950's, video games have now been labeled as a social stigma. They have been blamed for the obesity of our youth, attributed to school shootings and violence among teens, and generally viewed as a waste of time. Why are card games and television not viewed as negatively? My friends and I were playing a 3 player card game on the Nintendo DS when the wife of one of my friends entered the room. She said "why don't you do something productive? All you do is play DS." Now I am willing to bet had we been playing that same card game with actual cards nothing would have been said. Why are physical cards better than digital ones? They say that video games are violent. Is TV not? Being a lover of both television and video games, I can tell you that TV is twice as violent as video games. Crimes dramas such as CSI, Law and Order as well as many others show gruesome crimes being committed. In one CSI I saw a recreation of a murder where the murder weapon was an ice pick and it was repeatedly jabbed into the neck of someone. Is that not violent? Don't get me wrong, video games are violent. But it could be argued that they are just dots, lines, and pixels. As far as video games making our youth obese, they do. But we need to add television to that list. We are sitting on the couch getting fat whether our TV is hooked to a coaxial cable bringing us "quality" programing, or hooked to a gaming machine bringing us "violent " video games. As for card games, Solitaire on our computers in the workplace is one of the biggest contributers to non productivity out there. Oh, but wait, that is a video game right? Card Games, TV or Video Games? If one is accepted they all should be. If one is a stigma they all are. Choose your evil wisely.

A Full 16 Hours

Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise. Some people say without their full eight hours I'm just a wreck. Is that true? According to wikipedia The National Sleep Foundation maintains that eight hours of sleep for humans is optimal, claiming that it brings improved performance in tests, reduced risk of accidents, and a better immune system. For most people 8 hours is the goal when we go to sleep. Some go to bed at 10pm. and get up at 6am. Some prefer to go to bed at midnight an get up a 8am. Well that is all good and fine if that is your schedule. What about those of us that don't have a normal schedule? People with kids, Night Owls, and people who work graveyard shifts don't have normal schedules. When do they get there eight hours? Well I am one of the many that don't have a regular schedule. I work graves. A few nights a week I work 10pm.-6am. rather than sleep it. By the time I get home it is 6:30. If I go to sleep at that moment, a good 8 hours would be 2:30pm. Some experts say that every hour slept before midnight is worth 2 afterwards. So how many hours of sleep do the majority of people, who don't have a 10pm.-6am. or a 12am.-8am. sleep schedule, actually need? It could be argued that because I went to sleep at 6:30am. , which is after midnight, that I would need double the hours to get a full night sleep. So If I went to bed at 6:30am. I would need to sleep till 10:30pm. to get my full night sleep. Well you can't argue with science. If I don't get a full 16 hours I'm just a wreck.

Soda : The Man's Addiction

When was the last time you heard your Wife, Girlfriend, Aunt, Mother, Grandma, Sister or even a friend that is a girl say "I need some chocolate"? If they are sitting next to you reading aloud you probably just heard it. It's just a fact. Girls like chocolate. It is widely accepted. It is also known that when a girl needs chocolate you don't argue. Why don't you argue? Because usually by the time they voice their need for chocolate, they are so far in to what I like to call "The PMS Chocolate Feeding Frenzy", that if you argue they will bitch slap you into next month. By then they will be PMSing again. So don't argue. I think it is fair to say that chocolate is the woman's addiction. So what is the mans addiction? Soda. But I have recently found many of the women in my life have been saying "you drink to much soda." The impulsive comeback would be "well you eat to much chocolate." But because I fear the bitch slap into march 4th i just say "sorry." I do drink a lot of soda. At the moment I have 10 fountain drink cups sitting around the apartment. That is not including the empty 2 liter bottle and all the soda containers in the garbage can. But why shouldn't I be able to have my addiction. Am I not free to consume something that will add a little weight to my hips. Well it is time this came to an end. I am making a statement here and now "Men are allowed to drink soda and we will not be reprimanded. Just like the opposite sex will not be reprimanded for their chocolate consumption." If you read the can (click picture to enlarge) you will find that Dr. Pepper was invented by Dr. Charles T. Pepper. That's right a Doctor. So if you ladies try to reprimand us, remember it's just what the doctor ordered.