Boys Bike vs Girls Bike

Ding! Ding! Ding! Hello and welcome to tonight's death match. My Name is Easy Rider, now lets meet our competitors. In this corner, weighing 25 pounds and sporting the blue rolled steel frame and four reflectors, we have Velocity. In this Corner, weighing 20 pounds and sporting the pink and white rolled steel frame and the pink sidewall tires, we have Raleigh. They are both fierce competitors who deserve to be here tonight but only one will leave victorious. Lets go to Jim who is down on the floor interviewing the crowd to see who tonight's favorite is. Are you there Jim? Yes Easy I'm here . The crowd seems to be torn on this one . The girls favor Raleigh while the boys seem to favor Velocity. Why do you think that is Jim? Well Easy, I would have to say because one is a girls bike and one is a boys bike. Oh yes, very insightful Jim. Thank you Easy. Easy, we do have one person here in the crowd who is a boy but is favoring Raleigh. Lets see what he has to say. State your name and tell us why you favor The Girls Bike. My name is Derek. I like the girls bike because I just don't like the straight bar on the boys bike. No one likes sliding off the seat and smashing your package on the bar. Oops, am I allowed to say package on TV? Well anyway, with a boys bike if you slide off the seat you hit the bar and that is bad for the ball bearings if you know what I mean. But with a girls bike you can slide off the seat and because the bar is angled you are good to go. Well Derek I can see where you are coming from. Derek if you had to predict a winner tonight who would it be? I would have to go with the girls bike Jim. Well back to Easy who will be covering tonights match. Thank you Jim. Alright. Velocity. Raleigh. When you hear the bell come out fighting. Ding. Well Raleigh and Velocity are circling neither but one has made a move yet. Oh, Raleigh just rammed Velocity and broke one of his reflectors. It looks like Velocity wont take this lying down, he just rammed Raleigh and bent one of her spokes. Raleigh is circling faster and faster and picking up speed. Wham!! Oh my gosh Velocity is down for the count. Raleigh just rammed him right in the sprocket. That one is going to hurt in the morning. Lets talk to our winner. Raleigh that was quite a finish but weren't you afraid that Velocity might have reciprocated and rammed you in the sprocket? I wasn't to worried because my angled bar doesn't offer a lot of access to my sprocket. Not to mention I have a chain protector. Well folks there you have it. Raleigh the girl bike is victorious. And now we know the girl bike is better. Derek called it. And Like Derek I would rather ride a girls bike than rattle my ball bearings. This is Easy Rider signing off. Goodnight everyone.

Fine!! Have it Your Way!!

Hold the pickles. Hold the lettuce. Special orders don't upset us. All we ask is that you let us have your way. That's right. If you hold the pickles or the lettuce they wont get upset, and they just might get it right on a good day. Anything beyond that is too much for this burger establishment's hive mind to comprehend. I say hive mind because any Burger King you go to will do the same thing. Hold the pickles. Great. Add more mayonnaise. Done. They can remove and add components of the burger all day long. But what I asked them to do, I dare not ask again, because it nearly burst the very small hive mind that they all share. I love meat and I love cheese. For that reason I am a frequent at the local Burger King. They have the choice of a single, double, and a triple cheeseburger. They have the double, triple, and even the quad BK Stackers. The have the single, double, and triple whopper with cheese. There is no doubt that Burger King loves their meat and cheese almost as much as I do. If you get a single, double or triple cheeseburger or a double, triple, or quad BK Stacker they seem to have it figured out. They build all those burgers in the correct order. That order being one layer of cheese for every layer of meat. Meat cheese meat cheese meat cheese. There is only one problem. If you order a whopper they get it all wrong. There must be some sort or brain damage in the part or the hive mind that is in charge of making whoppers. When they make a single whopper they start with meat, then cheese, then all the vegetables. So far so good. But as soon as you order a double or a triple whopper the "meat cheese " logic goes out the window. Double whopper. How do they start? Meat Meat Cheese Cheese. Triple Whopper. Meat Meat Meat Cheese Cheese Cheese. Why? Why is it different only for these burgers? I don't like it that way. I have asked many times for them to make it "my way" but they never get it right. I have shown up to burger king with friends and we all order. I ask them to make it how I would like it. We all get our food. What do you know? Mine wasn't made correctly. Everyone else starts eating while I take mine back and ask them to make it my way. I wait. I finally get my burger. I go sit down and open up my burger. Again it is made incorrectly. But by this time my friends are nearly done with their meal. So, frustrated, I just accept the bum burger and eat my meal so we can leave. This has happened more than once. By ordering I gave them one chance for them to let me "Have it my way." When I took it back that was their second chance. How many chances do I need to give them. 3? 4? Have it your way? Don't they really mean have it your way as long as it is limited to the adding or withholding of certain items on your burger? Or is it Have it your way if you get the cheeseburger or the stacker? The only way the "Have it your way" slogan would apply to me is if I were speaking to them. "That's right Burger King, I will Have it YOUR way."